Just like the cold can turn the lively current of the Charles River into a solid surface, fragmenting it into thousands of mini iceburgs with no place to go, so the prospect of another long winter seems to be fragmenting me into a commotion of stalled dreams, as I slip into a downward spiral, some days drowning in a mental blizzard in front of the TV with the remote control— anything but a life preserver.
Are you a victim of SAD?Some people get SAD in the winter. Seasonal Affective Disorder is a condition that can occur when we don't get enough sunlight/daylight. Maybe it's because I've become sloppy with my calcium and vitamin D doses, or maybe it's the lingering cold that's kept me overly housebound, or maybe it's the season...or maybe it's my time of life—but the dark days seem to be outnumbering the bright ones. This blog entry is an official challenge to myself to see if I can beat the winter doldrums by summoning my internal forces and picking up the tools I know I have in my optimist's toolbox: music, meditation, exercise, good company, good food, and lots of gratitude lists.
Let's keep it all in perspective
Yes, I voted today. And I have been brought to tears repeatedly while hearing survivor voices from the Haiti disaster and seeing the devastation there. The biggest gift is to live in a place where I can even notice the down moods. In spite of my lack of rainy-day funds or tickets that could take me around the world, I still have a roof over my head, food in my refrigerator, hot water, a shower, plenty of clothes to put on my back. And my car is still working! No crisis of life or limb this week in this part of the world. Kvetching is a privilege!
Find the Unexpected Jewel in the ordinary of day to day
The challenge is to find opportunity in the middle of adversity. Not sure who said it. I think it was Einstein. It's about having your eyes open enough to see the invisible, to find the unexpected jewel in the ordinary. Just take a look as this ordinary variety store:
Sitting on Clearway Street near the corner of Massachusetts Avenue, this little storefront looks as though it's your typical variety store . . . even when you walk in. At first you think that's where you've come. Here's Clynton standing in front of some typical variety store "product."
But if you face the back wall, stand in front of the vending machine, it magically opens, bringing you into a secret hip hop shop named
Bodega. It's filled with high end footwear and sportswear you won't find anywhere else. Here's Clynton and his colleague Lee with some Nike's you're not likely to see anywhere else. Other rare brands are Original Fake made in Tokyo, and Head Quarter.
My friend Claire (below) who was visiting for the weekend from Maine found this unexpected word-of- mouth-promoted oasis a delightful surprise not likely to be reproduced in Trenton, Maine.
Not only are the products "cool," the wall graphics are, too.
The imagery here, "Welcome Home" has its mixed messages, too. The human condition— flesh and bones of it all—can still find welcome through connection even if that connection is as tenuous as a rain cloud...at least it's a multi-colored one.
Last night was one of those nights when I awaken at 3 a.m. feeling as though every detail of my life is a disaster—that I'm treading on thin ice, about to go under. Everything always seems not-so-bad the next morning, but I'm often left with an after-anxiety-tremor that can cast a pall on the rest of the day if I'm not careful to pull out one of my proven tools to ratchet up the day and my mood. This morning I bundled up and got myself back out on the pavement. Within moments my mood lifted. Music in my ears, sun on my face, and the spectacular view of the Charles River from the Mass Ave Bridge put all that mid-night fear into perspective: thin ice has a beauty all its own.
